Hey this is a bit of a downer entry but I am putting it in anyway since it is important to our family history. One month ago a dear friend of our family passed away. It has been described as almost instantaneous. He crashed into the back of a parked truck while riding his bike and broke his neck. His name was Gerry Hickman and he was quite a man. As a family we are friends with his entire family with Xander befriending his son Ryan first, I met Gerry next, followed by his adult daughter, Kate and then I met his wife Jana. When I first started attending our ward in Ahwatukee, Gerry taught the adult Sunday School class. His lessons from the Old Testament were amazing. As an avid reader and a history buff, he could add so many details and pertinent information to understanding the language of the Old Testament, especially the book of Isaiah. Gerry was a lawyer. Many of you have experiences with lawyers and the way they ask questions. He liked to tease me in Sunday School asking me complex and thought provoking questions "picking on me" in front of the entire class. As a Jensen, I have this compulsive, almost uncontrollable need to answer questions and verbalize my insight during lessons. (Not just church lessons, but any lesson delving into the philosophical, political, or literary.) I would like to say Gerry and I fed off of each other but all I know for sure is that I thoroughly enjoyed the difficult questions and the opportunities to answer them. I didn't even have to raise my hand to be called on in his classes for commentary. Like I said, he enjoyed putting me on the spot. The summer between school terms and immediately following Jared's motorcycle accident I was assigned to be Visiting Teaching companions with Kate. I had a lot of fun showing her the ropes of caring for God's children through Visiting Teaching. I also especially enjoyed the opportunity of visiting teaching during this time because it gave me time to worry about others' needs and troubles and forget myself for a bit. Kate is a smart, virtuous girl who I always could tell truly loved and admired her father. She often talked about him, glowing with pride. Jared's motorcycle incident had occurred mid-March and up until August we had been surviving on savings and frugality and the occasional donation from family members. I had started to worry about our continued survival but didn't know what to do. I didn't have the time to look for a job and I didn't have the ability to commit to regular hours. I was responsible 24/7 for taking care of a baby, a toddler, a preschooler, and an adult who couldn't get around very well even with crutches. At this time I received a phone call from Gerry offering me a job as one of his legal assistants. I would be helping him, 2 associate attorneys, and 2 secretaries. I really had zero skills for this kind of job, but after discussing it with Jared we decided to accept it. Gerry understood I would be trying to work about 4 hours a day after making sure everyone was all fed and taken care of at home and then trying to return home before those needs arose again or the kids got too crazy. Gerry also knew Jared was still going through follow up care and would be having more surgeries and I would not be available at all during those times. Gerry wasn't phased and the secretaries and paralegals were willing and able to pick up any slack when I was unable to be there. Gerry didn't mind my learning curve either. He tutored me through the process of writing my first motion (just a basic one) which he signed after a few drafts and he willingly answered any legal questions I had. If Jared would not have been able to return to work and school a year later I was starting to plan my career as a paralegal. Gerry treated everyone as equals which is a rare quality in attorneys. The support staff of the office would always talk about him being the best attorney to work for in the office. In the office one day I asked Gerry if he had ever hid evidence from opposing counsel. He honestly told me that he had done that once earlier in his work. He had regretted his dishonesty immediately and was grateful when he got caught and the judge came down on him. He vowed never to be dishonest in his cases from that point on and would not allow his clients to be dishonest either. Complete integrity in life is a difficult standard to live by, but Gerry did. In Sunday School we do a 4 year cycle of the different works of scripture. We spend a year each on the Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, and Doctrine and Covenants. At the end of the year of studying the Book of Mormon, Gerry called me at home during the week and asked me if I would bear my testimony of the Book of Mormon and what it means to me in class. He had offered this same opportunity to other class members. During that week I contemplated my testimony and the effect it has had on my life. It was a special week for me spiritually speaking. I have only a few testimonies that the process of sharing has been remarkable to me where the Spirit has left a mark on my heart so profoundly. I was and still am so grateful to Gerry for this opportunity. During our years in that ward Gerry became the Ward Mission Leader and began teaching the class for newly baptized members, investigators, and members needing a refresher course. About that time my friends, the Becks, began investigating the gospel and I attended that class with them during that process and their first year of membership. Again, Gerry would put me on the spot. Sometimes I would arrive at class a little late and although I had missed the introductory instruction he would ask me a question before I could even sit down. It got to be a joke that each week he would call on me to give either the closing or opening prayers. (Public prayer is rather difficult for me.) After a little over a year of working at his law office, Jared got a job and was able to return to work. I gave a week's notice and Gerry was genuinely happy for me that I was returning to being a homemaker a mom full-time. I began my friendship with Jana when I was called to be the secretary in the Relief Society presidency which she was the first counselor for. We share this sort of attitude that people need to take more personal responsibility for their happiness. I never thought of her as older than me just as one of my dear friends. I enjoyed running into her at soccer games and baseball games. This year our kids won't be in the same little league and I will miss running into her. She is just a good, good person.This March marks 6 years since Jared's motorcycle accident. This past summer we were able to attend Kate's wedding reception. Kate and Gerry shared a traditional dance and it was sweet to see how they beamed at each other. Gerry and Jana have been married for over 30 years. They have the blessing of an eternal marriage, something specific to our religious beliefs. They have 2 different pairs of children: 2 adult daughters, an almost 10 year old daughter, and an almost eight year old son. They also share a precious little granddaughter. I asked Gerry about that once. He expressed great gratitude for the opportunity of having the two surprise change of life children. He felt he got to be more a part of their childhoods and regretted what he missed with his first two daughters when he was earlier in his career. That week of Christmas was a tough one for me this year. I cried often for the loss of my friend, for the loss of my friend's husband, and for the loss of my friend's father. On December 27th we attended his funeral. I cried with Kate when I entered the room for the visitation. I cried with Jana when I got to the casket. She expressed that Gerry meant well with his teasing, he knew I could take it and that he thought of me as a daughter. My tears are still not dry for Gerry and his family. Again Jana and I got teary eyed when we saw each other this past Saturday. I again reiterated that Jared and I were there for her for anything at anytime even the middle of the night. Overall I am grateful for the peace the gospel brings despite the heartache of life's trials. I am grateful to know that family relationships do not end with death. Gerry is still a father to those 4 wonderful children. Gerry is still a grandfather to his sweet granddaughter. And most importantly, Gerry is still husband, sweetheart, and help meet to Jana. As usual sorry for the run-on, unformatted blog entry and I promise a happy entry soon.