Elijah has been going through the notorious subject of sex education at school this week. I'm sure it's not officially called sex education, but if it walks and talks like a duck.....

Sara started preparing him last week with warnings of awkward topics at school and evening conversations with his parents about what he's learning. Sara would say that he can speak with just dad, just mom, or both mom and dad. She always over-emphasized the "just dad" option.

Elijah was confident and acted like everyone was overreacting about this sex ed stuff. He said nothing would make him feel uncomfortable and that he'd just talk with both mom and dad.

The first day of the curriculum was about emotional changes. It warned these pre-prepubescent boys of upcoming hormonal changes that would make their emotions more extreme and unpredictable. The lesson included tips on how to handle the upcoming emotional rollercoaster.

Elijah handled day one with flying colors. He talked with both of us about what he learned and acted like it was no big deal. He was still confident that all the sex ed hubbub was unjustified.

Yesterday, the second day, was about physical changes. They learned about all the wonderful changes puberty does to a boy: new hair growth, widening shoulders, increases perspiration, enlarged reproductive organs, enlarged muscle mass, erections, etc. - all from a scientific viewpoint.

Sara and I met with Elijah and asked what he learned about. Elijah, no longer confident, didn't want to talk about it because it's uncomfortable.

Sara quickly reminded Elijah of his options: talk to both mom and dad, or just with dad. Somewhere along the way, the third option, just mom, fell off the table. Elijah opted to speak with just dad.

Elijah and I left the room and discussed these wonderful topics in private. He told me what he learned about -- after I pulled a few teeth. The parts he found especially weird was the "hair down there" and the "stiffening of the penis." He felt uncomfortable even using the word penis -- which is understandable because I do too. We agreed to just call that general area "privates".

Then came the funniest part of the night. I asked him what reproduction means, and he responded correctly. I asked how reproduction occurs, and he said something about sperm which is stored "in those things below the penis." I asked him about the other half of the reproduction equation. He said something about sperm fertilizing an egg. I clarified that the female egg is located near the woman's private area.

I asked Elijah, "Do you know how the man's sperm makes its way to the female's egg?"

Elijah quickly responds, "No."

I followed up with, "Do you want to know?".

He responds emphatically, "No!"

This made me laugh out loud -- especially considering his previous level of confidence. I said to him, "You know, at some point in time, you will have to learn this?"

He responds, "I know. I just don't want to right now."

How cute is that? Enjoy your innocence, son; the fixation is just around the corner. Once it starts, it ends with your last heart beep.

Sara - aka: person who'd toe the line straight off a cliff - later informed me that the school-issued, parents' guide specifically states that parents should not laugh while discussing these topics with their child. I'm sure that guide is super easy to follow from the backseat.... maybe next time include the "just mom" option.